Thursday, November 06, 2014

mon père

11月は父の誕生日がある。
毎年カードや何かちょっとしたものを贈るのだが、今年は私の方で予定が詰まっていてうっかり当日を逃してしまった。

父はもう長い間、出かける際に母に着るものを相談しているが、若い頃はとてもお洒落な人だった。
細身で逞しく、遊ぶことや機械いじりが好きで、海や山に出かけることも好き。
写真機を幾つか持っていて、自室に暗室を作り、現像も自分でやっていた。10代の頃にカメラを手にして以来実家を出るまでずっと、誕生日には毎年自宅の同じ窓辺でセルフ・ポートレートを撮るような人だった。
今はもっぱらデジタルカメラを持ち歩いているけれど、撮影することがとても好きなのは変わらない。

父と母が出会った頃の写真は、白黒や少し色の褪せたカラー写真で、60~70年代という時代の持つ服装や風景が、古いフランス映画を見るような錯覚をおこさせる。
私は、父のこの写真がとても好きだ。
煙草をくわえ、何かを撮っている若い青年の頃の父。
ジャン=ポール・ベルモンドのようだ。


そして、母の撮った写真(下段)。
私たち兄妹3人とシーソー遊びをしている父。
いたずらっぽく微笑みながら、やはり煙草をくわえている。
今は全く吸わなくなっているが、この頃はよく吸っていた。
煙草を吸わなくなっても、普段は無口な父である。
この写真も、やはりなんだかフランスっぽくて、おもしろい。

父には健康でいて欲しいと思う。
真面目に働いてきた父が、やっとのんびりと日々を送っているのは嬉しいが、身体が心配な日々ではある。
かつてのような引き締まった身体は何処かへ行ってしまったし、目や肩や股関節が痛いというのを聞くたびに、セルフケアや簡単なトレーニング方法を教えたり、マッサージをするがなかなか続かない。
自分の無力さを嘆きつつ、今日も一日が過ぎて行く。

父に似た私だけれど、似なかった部分もたくさんある。
似なくて嬉しいと思う部分は一つも無く、それは私にとって驚きでもあり、嬉しくもある。
遅くなったけど、お誕生日おめでとう、フランス人のようなお父さん。


My father's birthday is in November.
I always give him a card or something little, but this year I'd been busy and Unfortunately I missed it.

He's been asking my mother what to wear when he goes out for a long time now, but he used to care about what he wears by himself when he was young.
He was skinny, but firm. He's been loved playing and tampering with machines, and also loved going to the mountains and seas.
He had few cameras and he made a dark room in his own room at home. He used to develop photos by himself. Since he got a camera when he was in his teens, he'd been taking a self portrait on his birthday ever year by the same window in his parents' house until he left.
Nowadays he carries digital cameras everywhere, but all the same he loves taking photos.

Around the time when my father and mother met, the photos are either in black and white or in faded colours. It was around 60's and 70's so the fashion and scenery give me an impression of an old French film.
I like the black and white photo of him, being a young man, above very much.
He's shooting something with a cigarette in his mouth.
It reminds me of Jean-Paul Belmondo.


This one was taken by my mother.
He was playing a seesaw with us- two big brothers and I.
He's mischievously grinning with a cigarette in his mouth again.
He doesn't smoke at all now, but he was a heavy smoker then.
Even he never touch a cigarette now, but he's still doesn't talk much.
This picture again reminds me of France, which is interesting.

I wish him to stay being well.
He's been working so hard for us and now he's spending his time for his own pleasure, but I'm worrying about his health.
A toned body had gone somewhere already and every time he moans about pains in his eyes, shoulders, and hip joints, I teach him how to care his body, a simple training, or give him a massage, but nothing he carries on without me.
So I sigh over my lack of skill and experience, but the day passes me by as usual.

I take after him a lot, but there are many things I don't.
However, there is nothing I think I was glad I didn't take after at all. Which is a surprising fact to me and at the same time, makes me happy.
So, it's a little late, but happy birthday mom père.



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